It ALWAYS matters how we treat people


We may forget, but as evidenced by this post from Angela- those in your company remember. 

“​20 some odd years ago I moved to Atlanta for school. To be a “kid” in a new city I knew nothing about, away from allllll my family and everything that I held dear it can be quite a scary thing. I didn’t know a single person but the other “kids” I came here with. Week one God placed two angels in my life that made that transition so much easier. Dr @Cynthia L. Hale and Rev. Toni Belin. If I never said it before THANK YOU Toni Belin on many a day you opened your home, shared your family (Your washer/dryer and kitchen/dinner table too lol) but more importantly you opened your heart to me. To sit tonight and hear you preach about being the Jesus that others need see, being inviting, not knowing what people are going through but offering them love and compassion and a welcome spirit, it brings everything full circle for me.  I so appreciate both of these awesome women of God for being the embodiment of all those things to a young girl then and even still now. Their ministries are truly a testiment to who they truly are. Just like you shared tonight, it can make the complete difference in someones life and you two awesome women of God have definitely done that for me.  #Godgavemehisbest” 

 #LiveFaithfully #LiveTRUE 

On marriage


 I’ve been married for 27 years to the same man through trials hard times and bull crap. The only thing that I was able to change through prayer was me. Your focus must be on your spiritual mental emotional and physical health. When you’ve effectively taken care of you, then all else will fall into place because you will begin to operate in discernment that comes from God. Men generally don’t change, we do. We change to placate and pacify and keep them.  Doing everything for them and forsaking ourselves. That’s unhealthy and they don’t appreciate it and begin to take us for granted and so do our children. Pray, take care of yourself, get counseling for you, go back to work.  He’s not going anywhere.

My Mom’s 75th

My Mom’s 75th

On this Thanksgiving, November 24, 2016 I’m thankful for my mom, Lucinda Joyce Crawford Belin who is 75 today.

My mom is so much more than the impeccably dressed woman that I post pictures of, she is an incredibly formidable human being who taught us how to love all of humanity.

I realize, as much as I’ve fought it all my life – minus the ability to ALWAYS be perfectly dressed free of wrinkles and eyebrows in place – I’m getting to be just like my mom. Well sorta. kinda. in my own way.

Growing up in Tennessee, we were always around some sort racial tension. We were middle class black folk who were smart, well dressed, well bred and knew the Lord. My mom ensured we’d never be limited or slighted or feel in anyway intimidated. We were always taught we were created in God’s image and God made no junk. The thing was that she ALWAYS taught us that EVERYONE was created in God’s image and EVERYONE deserved our love and respect even when they weren’t loveable or respectable.

Like the time the little white girl in 5th grade said something about my #nappyhair on the play ground not thinking about how much I liked to chew gum and that in class she sat in front of me. By the time the Principal called my mom, I had already helped get the gum out (pulling and cutting as necessary) My mom apologized, gave me what she deemed an appropriate punishment, explained to my teacher that she needed to pay more attention to conversations that could be hurtful and that while broken bones heal – the sting of hurtful words have life long implications. I got another whipping when I went home and was taught what was appropriate (for the umpteenth time) and mine was to be a kid and hers was to take care of the adults.  That week though Ms. Hattie did something extra special to my hair and I know my mom told her to to boost my morale. YES – We went to the hair salon every week then too.

My mom was the #PTA President forever and was often in the principal’s office not always because we were in trouble, but mainly so that EVERY kid got the resources they needed and EVERY family would feel connected.

My mom, with NO help from me, kept a perfectly appointed, always clean, full of everyone’s favorite food home. During the #Holidays our home was FULL OF FOLK. She was the best hostess. Every #Thanksgiving, the seniors who would be alone were welcome guests at the main table. (We had 5) The tables were set with ALL the china and silverware and crystal on top of starched linens with lace overlays, fresh flowers and candelabras. (We did NOT have plastic on our furniture)

This older lady would come every year and STACK her plate. By the time dinner was over, she’d take her foil out of her purse and rake food into it and store it away. By the time my dad took her home, my mom would have packed Tupperware full of a week’s worth of food.  Momma reminded us in small ways how to take care of others without fanfare or recognition.

Over the years many adults, kids, friends, family, strangers would find safe haven in my mom’s confidence, her wise counsel, her purse and her love. If I’m honest, growing up I never appreciated her for who she really is.

To me, she was the one who insisted on me dressing like a perfect little girl, when I only wanted to wear jeans and gym shoes. She was the one who made me sit and listen to seniors when I wanted to read a book or watch TV. My mom was the one who busted me in my lip (pretty regularly) when I talked back or got smart or was rude to others. My mom was the one who walked me into school and defended me and my friends when we should have been suspended. She was the one who wouldn’t let me go to bed until the kitchen was clean, the dishes put away, the linens washed and folded and every guest had what they needed.

My mom was the one that was so pissed that I got pregnant before I got married and gave me the best wedding I could imagine.  She was the one that wanted me to have lace and frills but let me wear a simple silk CREAM wedding gown.

She’s the one who bought every Christmas gift my kids wanted and bought one extra of everything for children without.  She’s the one who after retirement started a business with my cousin and joined a board with some girlfriends and became the treasurer.

My mom taught me to be a friend by being one to hers, how to be a sister by the way she is with her siblings, how to to be a wife, by being married to my dad, how to be a mom by being one to us and even those not from her womb, how to be Christian by being Christ like and to love with reckless abandon by loving me even and especially when I wasn’t so loveable.

Happy 75th Birthday to my mom who has always been wonderful. Love you bunches



Omar, my boy, writes


​So I’ve been trying to get this off my chest the right way (TRANSLATION: the not-too-harsh, the indirect, the don’t-ruffle-feathers, the keep-eyes-off-me way) and that’s not going to work this time. 
This needs to be said from an unapologetic and present awareness of my blackness and the lifetime of injustices black men and women experience.
Racism still exists in America and it’s bigger than the bigoted cop that fears for their pure, white life because the black male form frightens her or a black woman’s voice challenges his white entitlement. 
Where’s the racism? It thrives in the way we can be awarded the same education that our white peers receive and told that we won’t get into the same colleges and are discouraged from applying. The logic being that our grades aren’t strong enough, but the reality is our higher GPAs don’t compare to your family riches. 
Where’s the racism? It breeds in the way your children find it ok to crowd our space, inspect our hair and question our livelihood as though we are their living experiment. Your ability to laugh it off as a joke, doesn’t distract from your blatant disrespect of our heritage. 
Where’s the racism? It’s employed in your hiring practices. Our employment is much bigger than appeasing your diversity dollar quota. In fact, hiring people of color when you don’t believe in them is a greater hinderance and injustice. Your favor costs us time and money. Time because we could be applying and working where our talents and assets are received and welcomed. Money because we have to work four times as hard for a third of the cost.
Where’s the racism? It relaxes in your silence and your security. The way you greet us daily with a passive hello, gripping your bag tighter and a dedicated decision to be unaware our plights. Our hunting season is headline news, more critical to life than the new Kim K selfie or celebrity divorce. We know you idolize them, but you interact with us. 
Where’s the racism? It’s edified by our ability to build your country, fight your wars, raise your children and still be seen as second-class citizens. We begin to build homes and communities for ourselves with your scraps and you cross our thresholds with your drugs. 
Where’s the racism? It’s guarded by that one black friend that is constantly vouching that you’re “one of the good guys.” He’s still that kid happy to be welcome in your home, but not realizing that eating on the couch while the family dines at the table isn’t the same thing. 
The racism is still here and never left. What’s changed is my ability to still believe you’ll get better. You don’t want to. You’re perfectly content being an arrogant asshole that smirks in my face and calls me out my name in private. You’re that friend that can’t see beyond your insecurities to see that I’m hurting and being murdered. You’ve had your time to complain and be consoled, but it’s my time to make an uproar and fight for my life!
And fear me, you’d be wise to. We’re seeking revenge and not with your lives, but with everything that was given to us by God – human rights, intellectual property, our bodies, and our smiles.



​we have been teaching our sons to cower down, to stand down, not look so tall, to put their hands at 10 and 2 if pulled over, then after so many were still killed, we told them to walk around with hands up and begging them not to shoot, we wore hoodies in honor of #travon but really didn’t want our sons to.  We have made them pull up their pants, wear a collared shirt, look intimidated and not intimidating, we have taught them not to be who they were created to be simply to accommodate jokers who have created stand your ground laws to shoot and kill our black sons, daughters, husbands, brothers no matter what.  When it’s not with guns, they take jobs, pollute our water, infest our communities and rape our daughters and sons. We got their education the way they said it should be done and when our sons and daughters excelled over theirs they still tried the tricks of the evil one. 

The Bible Says Resist the devil and he will flee! I think it’s time to teach our sons and daughters stand up straight and tall! Resist 

Resist by voting jokers out of office

Resist by volunteering in our communities

Resist by standing up for others who’ve been let go unfairly

Resist by investing in our own neighborhoods

Resist by shopping in our own stores

Resist by moving back to the hood

Resist by volunteering in our schools

Resist by not allowing the governor to take over our schools

Resist by teaching someone else how to resist

Resist by taking folk to vote

Resist by operating out of Faith in God rather than fear of fools

Resist by taking a knee during the anthem

Resist by stop shopping and making them rich

Resist by standing up and encouraging one another

Resist by teaching our children how to fight racism

Resist by humbling ourselves before the Lord in Prayer

Resist by speaking the Truth in Love 

Resist by no more bowing down 

Resist by reading that which would edify us as a people

Resist, just Resist




I believe in transference.  “Transference is a phenomenon characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another” I mainly believe in getting the things that disturb me off my mind and outta my heart so I can be free of whatever angst or anxiety was associated with the situation or thing. 

I actually started at a young age where the things that disturbed me.  I told my mom about the folks that teased me about my glasses in 1st grade.  She told me everything would be fine and it was. She never needed to tell me how shemade it fine,  but it was and everything else was always worked out.  I was free to go and do and be.
I also would transfer bad feelings, we’d were avid Omen movie goers.  Whatever would disturb me, i would dump on some unsuspecting poor soul and I’d feel better.

When there would be terrible news or a horrible situation I would feel extremely bad and I would tell someone and seemingly transfer my terrible feelings to them.  My therapist got alot of it – and still does.  There was freedom in transferring my concerns and issues to someone else.  Trouble was that oftentimes I’d grab the situation right back like it was mine to lament over.
Souring relationships, annoying disobedient children, mean co workers, nasty neighbors, bad health, overweight body, problems on every side – somehow I felt they were all mine and even after I world transfer them, I’d pick them right back up. Dwayne told me one time that if he answered the phone one more time and I played that transference game one more time, he’d stop answering my calls. .. LOL I switched to unsuspecting Henry

But God! I used to write my situation or concern in my journal (loads of them with my entire crazy story) and then I would use the concordance (before google) for a scripture to help me.  I would write that scripture and then write my prayer.

One day I found

1 Peter 5b All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”[a]
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace, there it was, that’s what I had been looking for with all this transference I’d been doing over the years.  I could humble myself recognizing that it’s just not about me, but God,  that I could transfer all my stuff to God cause he cares for me.  Then I could stop worrying about everything husband kids house finances friends family church church members church stuff weight, we’ll maybe not weight….. (therapy)

There’s freedom in prayer. I thank God for that.  There’s deliverance in prayer, there’s healing in prayer, there’s hope in prayer, there’s answer in prayer, there’s joy in prayer, that’s discernment in prayer, there’s happiness in prayer, there’s mind regulating in prayer, there’s heart mending in prayer, there’s direction in prayer, there’s transference in prayer. The really great thing about prayer is I don’t know nor do I have to know how it works things out. Like my mom would fix things and situations when I was in 1st grade I didn’t have to know what she did, but just that she would do.  God is even better than that.

I have found the One that I can transfer all my stuff to, the One and only One that can fully effectively, when I humble myself, lift me up and give me peace in the midst of, despite what has happened.

Loving and caring God,  thank you for the power of prayer. Thank you for the promise of your word, that you for revival and for reflection, we Praise you for peace. Thank you Lord that as we give my issues and concerns to you, you put them in proper perspective and heal us and give us peace. In the name of Christ we pray.

btw… therapy works, somethings we can’t handle or manage our negotiate, even with prayer and we have to trust and believe that God dispatches angels in many ways and forms to get us to the place where we can be healed and delivered by God’s miraculous power.

Black Ice


Ephesians 6.10-17


Do you ever get so caught up, that you misstep and slip and fall?  I do.  I mean there are so many important things going on around me that warrant my attention and time, my advocacy and voice. There are so many injustices in the world and so many opportunities to hang out and have fun.  There are reasons to celebrate and things to abhor.

During this lenten season, I’ve committed myself to get caught up or catch up with the Lord. To allow God ways to be my ways.  To really know God and to hear God and what God desires.  Generally, fasting becomes a kind of Black Ice for me.  I can become so caught up in the fast and what the fast requires and how long the fast will last and what I cannot have and when I’ll be able to have and if it’ll make me lose weight, that I have oftentimes not really been fasting but found another thing to get caught up in another way to slip and fall.


I’ve seen the enemy and it’s me. If I’m honest the only thing that can really slip me up is me, my mouth, my attitude, my reaction, my inaction, my will, my desires, my hands, my feet, my heart.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

When I get caught up in the Lord’s will and desire for my life, alignment happens, order comes, I decrease that God increases in and through me. Every little thing doesn’t require my attention and response. I don’t have to be 4 places at the same time.  My fasting becomes what it was supposed to, a time for me to retreat and draw closer to God. At that point, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. I am able to withstand all the little invisible things that would make me slip up and fall.

Loving Caring Forgiving God, thank you for your peace.  We Praise you Lord that in the midst of trials and tribulations you steady our gait and help us to step back to understand your desire and your will. Gracious God Thank you for the power of prayer and the suit of armor that enables us, not just to manage our own stuff, but strengthens us to encourage others to seek you for theirs. We stand firm in the name of Jesus, Amen.

snow day whatever makes you comfortable

snow day whatever makes you comfortable

zionone of the things that i think folks always get caught in is law versus faith.  the law is easy. it’s a set thing. the law is readily available. the law is quantifiable. the law is tangible. you can FIND the law. you can read the law. you can justify the law. the law and the following of the law is measurable. there can be clear judgement based on the the law. the law is comfortable. that’s it. In the law there is comfort.  everyone wants to do and think and believe that which makes them comfortable.

what i have found is that which makes us comfortable is not the same as that which God requires, desires or even has prescribed. the things that make us comfortable are also the things that have broken up our households and families. the things that make us comfortable are generally the things of least resistance. comfort keeps us in our homes watching tv and cooking more food than we will ever eat on a snow day, instead of serving God by serving people.

it is definitely easier to write off everyone who does not look like act like walk like talk like live like love like think like us.  when folks and situations don’t fit into a quantifiable equation, then life stops being easy. relationships require thought and consideration, people become more than just people, but become human and we have to begin to imagine them not in the image of the law, but in the image of God. that’s work, that’s hard work, that’s uncomfortable work, generally, because it makes us have to know God. yea, i know, we all know God, the heaven and hell and law God, but do we know the compassionate, living, loving, merciful, just, forgiving, healing, faithful God?

getting to know God, really know God can put us in an uncomfortable situation. the uncomfortable part comes mainly because to know God is to faithfully trust God. to faithfully trust God, means to in all situations and relationships asking God for wisdom and discernment. getting God’s wisdom and discernment  means that once we know better, we must do better. treat people better. have better relationships. live better lives.

lol the crazy and most uncomfortable part about all this is that all of a sudden when we are no longer bound by the law, but operating in faith and thereby grace, we realize that life isn’t and never really was about us. our living is about God and all about glorifying God. we glorify God through reconciliation and forgiveness and compassion and respect and tolerance and healing and comfort and caring for others the way that God cares for us.

snow days are great ways to start becoming uncomfortable. we are already not doing what we would normally be doing. let’s take the next step

loving God. thank you for your faithfulness even and especially when we haven’t been faithful. thank you for the opportunity Lord to spend quality time with you. Lord in the name of Jesus help us to not get caught up in the expectations and normalcy of others, but strengthen our resolve that we are able to operate and love and live our lives in faithfulness to you. healing and delivering God, help us to see our children and our families and our associates and even ourselves as you do – in your image. in the name of the One who came to abolish the law that we might operate in faith and in your grace. amen

Promises Promises Promises


Promises, Promises, Promises
It’s not that everything is always going right, but that God is forever faithful and keeps his promises.
When I became a parent 25 years ago, I became a worrier, (or one who worries if you don’t like made up words). Children do that to you. You get concerned about every little thing.  Will they be healthy, will they be smart, will they have friends, will they be athletic, will they be gay, will they find love, will they find happiness, will they be accepted,  will they find a job, will they have a career they love,  will they dream, will they live out their dreams, will they have peace, will they know God, will they trust God, will they operate in God’s will for their lives. .. as they get older the concerns become more profound, at least for me.

The children that I’ve been blessed with are one type of worry, but add a spouse and what you desire and are concerned for their lives and your lives together, will they still love you when. .. Will you still enjoy each other’s company when. . Will. .. when. .. LOL again that may just me, unless of course you’re honest with you.

Then parents and brothers and sisters and family and other folks business. Bills, finances, traffic, health, health care,  homelessness, the poor, 3rd world issues. .. see “worriers” can find things to worry about.

Then I get the congregation and Community that I’ve been blessed to serve, Lord have mercy you can only imagine the worry that comes when you are responsible to teach folk to trust and believe and worship and desire and love and obey God. 

4:20 No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God,
4:21 being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.
4:22 Therefore his faith “was reckoned to him as righteousness.”
4:23 Now the words, “it was reckoned to him,” were written not for his sake alone,
4:24 but for ours also. It will be reckoned to us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead,
4:25 who was handed over to death for our trespasses and was raised for our justification.


But God and God’s promises. Recently,  I’ve had a lot going on,  and every time I could almost get caught up there’s another Rainbow another gentle reminder of God’s Love and Promise. So, in all things I’ve learned to trust God, to never waver, to not worry, to simply enjoy the life God has blessed me to live. 

It’s really funny though, God will indeed make living enjoyable even in the midst of trials and tribulations, even when kids do their own thing, even when church is not what you were expecting, even in sickness, even. …. All we must do is remain faithful.  The promises God made way back when are for us and our children and our children’s children and even for their children.  No need to worry, just be faithful, trust and believe and watch God’s promises be revealed in your life.
Merciful and gracious God Thank you for your faithfulness towards us. Thank you for your patience and your consideration towards us. Help us, guide us, direct us to your promise. In Jesus Name,  Amen.