You really never have enough time, unless of course you simply take it. I’ve had so many things I was going to do whenever I got the time, but the time never ever came and I never got any of it done. I really would like to be categorized as a doer, but honestly, I’m mainly just a thinker, a very compassionate innovative thinker, but a thinker nonetheless. Sometimes, if I’m honest I would even say that I have paralysis of analysis.

Thankfully, God doesn’t see me the way I see myself. God sees me in God’s image. Able not just to think but also to do. This is my year. I’ll be fifty on April the 23rd, I sent my three beautiful, loving, capable adult children, what my brother calls a “text of terror”. I simply said they were being cut off. Don’t feel bad for them, they got private school, college tuition, rent, gas money, travel around the world and anything they ever asked for – they’ll be just fine. Dude was laid off in October and this pastoring gig is not a moneymaker, so it seems only fair every capable body use the skills talents and graces God has equipped them with to the fullest.

The other thing that sapped my time was worry. Worry is paralyzingly ungodly which is not a good pastoral trait. So I’ve given that up to. Now mind you, I realize that is easier said than done, but Bishop Vashti Murphy McKenzie gave me permission in the form of a bracelet. A “permission slip” bracelet. (Praycation retreat- I’ll wait on her book to tell you the rest of the details and the genius of basically giving yourself permission to live the life God has created each of us to live)

So, this is my journey, my online journal about all the ways I’m using my time now that I’ve decided to really live the life God has blessed me with. You’re invited to join me and share your opinions, your hopes, your dreams, even your sheer disdain that I would have the audacity to publicly say and give life to all the things that many of us would rather pretend don’t exist.

Prayerfully, you read with an open mind as I delve into politics, church stuff, raising kids, keeping husbands, enjoying older parents, playing grandparent, hanging out with family, eating out, cooking in, traveling and whatever else pops into my head. Keep in mind, this is not about you, but all about me and probably a bit about dude and #marchingtoZion

Peace and Love
Toni